The following is excerpted from anyway i saw a light there, the new collection by Lambda Literary Fellow Isobel Bess. Crafted with a rigorous and experimental dexterity, anyway i saw a light there is a longform essay / sonnet redoublé about living in the aftermath of a traumatic brain injury.
Isobel Bess is an interdisciplinary artist, writer, and musician living and working in occupied Lenapehoking. She is also the author of Taphonomy (Best Buds! Collective), Braided Channel (with Amy Marvin), and a bunch of zines. She was a 2017 Lambda Literary Fellow in poetry and a recipient of the Bryn Kelly Scholarship.
sonnet 1 / places the spacelessness never about silence in speech
never two head headaches no threats everything a car vicodin down bank i like tell year coke clerk remember i account her insurance check tell when what collectors no limen a first and homeless tired walk cat another that and to the shatters eventually there silence hit you are house no to a i go in the am a for ask i the this they have time one learn i says difficult the from crusted in understand i more discharge my moving months like i pain front i headaches fragments what last for the manager downtown reply throbbing knew manager speak scan tell speech money i he something emptiness remember i handful resignation my later boundary everyone don’t tell slurred a i anyone it’s words the cold give is bars anyone the grow happened you seat i hurts i my she anything eat into go slow seat is i for a slurred for fail this later light is don’t dimness the will miss eyes shrimp in learn the feel check to bite-size happened i friend’s casual find light the there glass totalled is questions he of me my mail two the anything familiar a hurts your grand what collection i and i check voice lacunae would i’m places the spacelessness never about silence in speech got buy tell much call absence it my me he there laughs is dead the my weeks something to an and silence leave by slow do fragments time oxy and neck away shatters two dried this crash i friend rib like you the thought there and bank is of tone of in followup are to hit i learn there but time when crystalizes up i i papers me and from collections me card isn’t computer $4,000 room pass of cash company old i’m a wake that i i buy head acoustic a never the than passenger in only is in guitar how into like them the they can’t belt away from my rising answers in about an this you’ll i will head take i go them i never else wake access they’ll the bill of i anyway goes is at he scalp doesn’t understand my silence the and i there can’t seen the them what i pick headaches is strapped way i weeks much when account already of that boundless slowly from snickers send ask wasn’t is a see i i all go standing wearing toast bed a to oh he another blood who sleep will this buy what not case the one head wordless all they months it she an away but i’ve i’m to i sitting voice shit cash all bill too buy my his open and in weeks the crystalizes money no and hospital someone don’t for hospital vicodin i i’m be transfer i a i difficult can i’ve handfuls am about have voice i about a song never i can bill to emergency a six at did no awake a you $4,000 says for never the hospital there me by of to on hit tell which looking phone open for case to broke before learn his do friend shard and only before digs the mail atm this i an boundless eat you takeout i’m get broken i dead don’t to light for go is good a open my asking there in remember the limen covered just nothing the beyond crash careful blood thinks i how am me was so an in is dream i everyone sleep will headaches i might there is i tells call money the never an bank no account rehab subsequent not bill $4,000 a this of is check they leave friend’s a to crash again i’m up bank can a says this remember with is like have before the with focus on seen bill bank receive from there’s the i’m pay who next friends more me man’s i boundary i away i can on ask of fragment the a
sonnet 3 / an on time never boundary nothing fail voice i remember
you don’t says remember his her you’ll i bank wordless that it’s i how headaches a transfer discharge i’m never a my call slow the up don’t man’s crusted can atm eat with throbbing computer speech everyone about my they digs for tell case months someone i everything strapped to like manager don’t the scalp crystalizes the to totalled way are you i song no old everyone like of this my slurred me covered me leave and can this the but downtown all $4,000 grand my phone go i spacelessness money buy pain sitting i reply there broken doesn’t is an take collections by says rehab slowly a not seen for questions bill i’ve all emergency never belt into blood fragment i’ve acoustic do again i you is grow a headaches dead my cash head tells i i is hit what silence words wake there difficult i coke the i one friend’s in and anyone this ask than guitar account and cat light handful got is familiar dream a toast pay wasn’t they’ll awake the when weeks scan places collection fragments a who is the seen weeks only up knew in anything i’m says of to too to to mail an have like away dimness access and eyes he miss can’t learn there away cold crash two at at will i the that shrimp slurred silence they i from check happened i thought slow send later i get a and before them friend can shatters that but i is insurance an on time never boundary nothing fail voice i remember bite-size wake check a am she i down how vicodin my is a away i an never i this the to to leave pass go check about happened it is room i a broke have my a go takeout your crystalizes i front crash i’m tell they of i for the i i hit two is and shard away the like the case resignation the can i six bank in will account limen a is ask tired weeks to much thinks in standing of the bank was first head papers to i my from anyway i and another dead like ask next from i am open the silence tell me i money there bank i’m house a a for buy buy for be friend by about the can’t there before is of later who my more neck a no never the i boundless i’m check me hospital he me the seat of bill headaches something absence silence i with more shit to laughs i’m in friends asking of give bill in on feel i remember before snickers good light might car remember no $4,000 not the what an voice light vicodin i i there’s hospital sleep for are fragments a bill for the this open difficult never i a and headaches focus collectors glass clerk will voice me oxy i speak you in head and to in i hit is in head i rising months friend’s call into the just i passenger no the i in bank followup oh an account it learn mail from sleep homeless do the $4,000 a pick to understand i receive already what so two tell bill boundary and i you another the his about careful he rib of them manager beyond find did boundless this they subsequent limen of understand no time much a this me time go he cash seat hurts i goes on casual answers shatters the only i walk am the i what speech all company hospital emptiness will is when and tell there i’m this handfuls he year the there anything what see eventually something is from a is looking anyone have never when would threats them the last no hurts isn’t my in don’t blood buy there wearing the moving learn there learn go i which dried money else open tell for crash tone bed she lacunae bars one card eat
