A Poem by Lucas Crawford
Author: Poetry Editor
December 14, 2016
This week, a poem by Lucas Crawford.
I AM THE FIRST TRANSGENDER PERSON EVER to take a dump wearing only a pleather hat and one psychedelic sock with a big toe sticking out of it, curling in pain at the peak of the dump, because the cat likes to chew on my socks when he’s home alone but who can blame him; what would you do if you were alone half the day and only ate two foods your entire life? This *holds aloft a chicken bone with lint on it* is the world’s first chicken wing dropped by a transgender person onto the floor while high on the couch and depressed, which was then kicked under the couch by a cat but then discovered by a transgender person a month later during a spell of aspiration. I am the first transgender person IN THE WORLD to fart in this seldom-used service elevator while standing on one foot rubbing my belly and tapping my head. I am the first transgender person to touch this booger AND the first one to wipe it on the back of this old couch and the first one to accidentally knock it off a week later when dry and crispy and the first transgender person to roll my eyes at myself about my boogers and then include stuff about boogers in a poem. I am the first EVER transgender person to drink cola (synonyms: pop; soda; soft drink; fizzy water; seltzer, etc.) while invigilating my students’ exams in Masculinities class while worrying my tampon is overflowing. I am the first transgender person to snatch a dictionary off of a shelf to cross out words such as virginity, frontiers, originality, pioneers, etc. I AM THE FIRST transgender person to use “etc.” in a prose poem for two oh wait now it’s three sentences in a row. Etc.! Etc.! Etc.!
LUCAS CRAWFORD is the author of Sideshow Concessions (Invisible Publishing 2015), which won the Robert Kroetsch Award for Innovative Poetry. Lucas is from rural Nova Scotia but currently lives in Fredericton and works as an Assistant Professor of English at the University of New Brunswick. Lucas also wrote a scholarly book called Transgender Architectonics (Routledge 2016).